Have you seen all these guys on Youtube that tell you how you can write one message and get every girl you want?
They make texting a girl to ask her out seem like a piece of cake.
And then when guys pick up the phone and try to get a date, they fail miserably.
Why is that happening?
In this article, I will share what the possible pits you might fall into are and what exactly you would want to do to get yourself a date effectively.
Is Straight Asking Her The Best Way To Pick Up A Girl Over Text?
While asking her out over text is what you are going after, this part comes only at the end of your online talk.
And if you are inexperienced with approaching, connecting and building an emotion over text, you won’t go far.
Unless the girl has a strong interest in you, it will be quite hard for you to ask her out instantly, and effectively take her out on a date.
Therefore, you would want to focus on starting a normal conversation over her, gradually building interest and intrigue, and creating a bit of sexual tension and lust.
If you manage to do all of this effectively, your success is guaranteed.
So, let’s dive a bit deeper into how you can achieve all these tasks.
Text Her Without Being A Creep
As funny as it might seem, girls don’t like you to ask them on a date instantly. They still don’t know you and have no “reason” to date you. And if you are too impulsive, you might give the wrong impression of a “creep.”
What you want to do instead is start a natural fluent conversation with the girl.
The critical word here is NORMAL. Everything must seem normal, it must be her intent to go out with you, and not you forcing her and pushing her around.
To succeed, you would want to begin a friendly talk with her.
There are different ways you can approach this matter and they depend solely on the strength of your connection to the girl.
For instance, lets say you have known the girl for quite the while. And you have been texting her a bit over the last couple of days, giving her somewhat of a hint about your intention.
In this scenario, you can directly invite her and ask her to go and hang out somewhere:
“Hey, there is a new movie coming out tonight. Wanna go and watch it?”
If you have built the intrigue or interest already, she will most likely accept.
However, if you are just getting to know the girl, this move might feel a bit rashly.
Instead, you would want to begin a friendly talk while making clear what your intentions are. For example:
“Hi there gorgeous.”
This is a funny and elegant way to start a conversation while giving hints about your plans.
Another great option is by sharing a recent experience that can provoke interest, give her a smile and make her laugh. This is the best way to get on friendly terms with the girl and gradually turn the talk into you asking her out:
“You won’t believe what happened to me…”
How Much Should You Text Before Asking Her Out?
A question that many men have is how much is too much. Like, when exactly is the right time to ask her out.
The best time to pull the trigger and take her on a date is after you have built the foundations of your rapport.
Aka, ideally you would want to ask the girl in the second or third message, and not later than the fourth one you send her.
You don’t ask her immediately, because your initial goal is to set up the mood and reveal your intention, built some passion and curiosity.
And this might take you from 1 to 3 text messages.
Once you have achieved that, only then you can ask the girl out. By following this approach, you maximize the chances of actually getting a date and preventing a straight out rejection.
So, after you have started texting the girl, your goal is to open her heart and provoke her, show her that you are here to ask her out and become her boyfriend.
How To Provoke A Girl Over Text
There are several ways you can stress your intentions. And here are some of the best ones.
1. Being Friendly And Positive
One thing you can do is show your supportiveness and get on good terms with her.
If something is happening in her life- she might be having a test, a project, a presentation, go and cheer her up. Show interest and let the girl know you are concerned with her. For instance:
“Good luck with (insert subject). Go get them! Tell me how it went!”
Don’t just wish her luck- this is what her normal friend would do. Instead, you want to become an active and engaging part of her life (Tell me how it went!).
2. Good Morning/ Goodnight Texts
A fantastic way to instantly show the girl your intentions is by sending her good morning/ goodnight texts.
However, there are two ways to do it.
Firstly, we have a bit more general texts that show our concern about the girl. For instance:
“Hey, good morning! Hope you have a wonderful day!”
“I am about to go to bed and wanted to say goodnight. Wish you sweet dreams.”
As you have already noticed, you won’t be sending these texts to just about any girl. And even though they sound a bit more generic, they still manage to introduce the topic.
Secondly, you have the provocative/flirty good morning and goodnight texts. These are the texts you would want to use to get her thinking about you.
Personally, I would go with these. I would suggest you use these if either your rapport is going well or you have the balls to tell her.
So, I would go as following:
“Good morning gorgeous. I think that instead of breakfast I will have you.”
“I can't wait to go to bed so I can dream about you, beautiful.”
These two are great examples of passionate texts. She is sure to know what is going through your head and how you want to proceed.
3. Provoke Her With Sweet And Cute Texts
Another approach you can use is to send the girl a cute, sweet and charming text to set up the mood. From there, you can proceed to take her out.
For instance, you can send her a picture or a video of a small and adorable kitty or a baby dog and ask her if she likes it.
“Hey, I just found a picture of this cute animal and you instantly popped in my head.”
Once she starts explaining how much she likes the animal and how cute it is, you can follow with something like:
“And what would you do if we had this little baby right now?”
You see, we are going after a bit playful approach to the topic. You want something that can melt her heart and provoke positive emotions and feelings. From there, you can directly ask her out.
However, I would use this technique on the second or third time I am texting the girl so that I can arrange the mood and build that interest inside her.
Send Her Flirty Text Messages
Flirting with a girl over text is one of the best ways to sparkle an emotion and get her madly in love with you.
When it comes to flirting over text, you can approach the matter in different angels.
1. A More General Approach
Okay, so the first way to interact and provoke her would be by writing a bit more general compliment.
“I didn't think you can get any more beautiful than this. Boy, was I wrong…”
Using something similar is an excellent way to instantly give her a smile . Send her this and you are sure to get the girl intrigued and interested in you.
2. Teasing Her
Use a playful nickname and start teasing her. Girls love being teased!
“Hey there princess, I was thinking about you…”
This is a great way to show your girl you have an interest in her, to intrigue her and to begin teasing her.
3. Sending Her A Funny Quote/Joke
While some may think this is old and lame, if you have something creating up your sleeve you can definitely get her heart beating.
Something similar to:
“If I am texting you too much, feel free to use kisses as a method to shut me up”
This is a great way to make her smile while carrying your point perfectly fine.
Who knows, maybe your girl will shut you up!
How To Know If You Are Going On The Right Track
If you notice any signs that she might like you, you are good to go. If a girl has an interest in you, she will let you know in one way or another.
And if you can recognize these signs, you can easily ask her out.
So, let's go through several standard signals a girl gives when she is intrigued by you.
1. She Is Texting You A LOT
One easy sign is when a girl is curious about you. In this case, she will text you more than she normally should, asking you about all kinds of topics- from what are you doing to how is your day.
If she seems to have a keen interest in you, you will know to pull the trigger.
2. She Is The One To Text First
A standard view point is that the one who is in love should be the first one to text the other.
Well, a similar concept lies here. If a girl has a passion for you, she won't simply wait you to ask her.
Instead, she will be the one beginning the talk. So when you see a girl that is texting you first on her own will, you know how to follow up.
3. She Is Showing Direct Concerns About You
A great way to know if a girl has an interest in you is by taking note of what she is going after.
If she is texting you regularly, and more precisely, asking how you are, how you feel, if you have any plans, these are clear signs she is all over you.
Especially if she is trying to arrange you to meet somewhere and chill.
If you notice that a girl is taking direct concern about you, I would suggest sparkling a bit of passion and desire and asking her out afterward.
4. She Gets Back Quickly
This isn't anything new. Usually, if someone is important, you will get back to that person as quickly as you can.
If a girl is responding to your texts in a fast manner, this is usually an indicator that she is attracted to you.
So, if you notice this, you can start building a stronger emotional connection right away.
A Different Way To Ask A Girl Out Over Text
A common concern for most guys is the image they have in the eyes of their crush. Men prefer to act tough, be the leader and the badass.
Another way to talk to the girl would be to show her your softer, charming, romantic side.
But, does this make you seem weak and lacking masculinity.
While some guys might say yes, girls do love men who aren’t afraid to show their emotions and reveal their feelings.
You can go with a more classical approach to her. For instance, if you’d like to be a bit more romantic you can say something like:
“You seem quite interested in this topic. How about we discuss it in depth- you and I, a nice dinner, a good glass of wine…”
Remember, girls are more often than not emotionally driven. And is there a better move to set the atmosphere than a classical romantic dinner?
The point is, don’t be afraid to experiment and try something new. You never know what your girl might like the most.
You Asked Her Out Over Text And She Didn't Reply. What Now?
Sometimes, you might end up in the situation where initially you had everything going smoothly. Eventually, you asked her out. However, she didn’t get back to you.
So, what now? What is the best approach to this situation?
A horrible idea would be to start texting her over and over again. This will only piss her off or turn her off completely.
A better idea would be to wait. I’d say you want at least 1 day and no more than 2.
If at least 24 hours have passed and she isn’t texting you back, you can message her again with something like:
“Hey, did you get my last message?”
If she does text back, you know she isn't all that interested or maybe you are doing something wrong.
On the other hand, you might find out what happened and why she couldn't respond.
Texting A Girl To Ask Her Out
A thought I always keep in mind is that dating should be an enjoyable process- both for her and for you.
You should have fun and excitement while texting a girl, not crumble in fear.
A great place to get more insight on the whole topic of getting a girl over text is “Text That Girl”- a fantastic program that teaches all the small tips and tricks that make the difference.
If you want to learn how to attract the attention of your crush effectively, you can read our thorough review.