The Psychology Behind The Saying “Nice Guys Finish Last”
Have you ever wondered what the quote “nice guys finish last” refers to and means?
After all, women admit they love and search for good guys, ones that can take decent care of them and support them. So why is it that most of these exact same guys get a one-way-ticket straight into the friend zone territory?
In this article, we will dive a bit deeper into the actual meaning of the phrase, we will find out why women go after the bad boy instead of the nice guy and what you can do about it if you feel you have the same kind of problems.
Good Guy VS Nice Guy- Who Attracts Women And Why?
As stated and confirmed by women themselves, girls do enjoy the pleasant company of good men around them. Ones that can treat with respect, create a pleasant atmosphere and contribute to a good company.
All of these qualities make the good guy so attractive and desired by ladies. And here comes the nice guy. To put it in quite simple terms, the nice guy takes all these characteristics to the next level, to a point where he starts hurting his own image, trying to “over deliver” being a gentleman.
Usually, in their attempts to satisfy their partners, the nice guys show a lack of confidence, an insane amount of fear of failure or rejection, a total lack of self-worth and, as a result, they diminish their own significance.
When you take all the good qualities a cool guy can have, multiply them by 10x and deliver it to a lady, it is only natural for her to lose interest and respect for you. After all, the moment she says she will leave you, you start begging on your knees, try to buy her whatever she wants to make her happy, and are willing to do whatever it takes just to keep her sole presence around you.
This is a rough presentation on how the character of the nice guy can be summarized.
Nice Guys Finish Last- Explanation, And Is True Or Not?
Describing it in simple terms, we can follow the presentation mentioned above as a brief characterization of both stereotypes.
“Nice Guys Finish Last,” interpreted from a woman’s viewpoint, means that the nice guys lack the aura of necesssary masculinity, have next to no self-confidence and can stand up to the image of the desired man because they over deliver with their kindness.
Nothing, even being kind and caring, is a good thing when delivered in insanely high amounts.
Ladies indeed search for a good guy. After all, who doesn’t want a partner that can treat them well, take care of them and support them?
So, make sure you recognize the difference between the nice guy and the good guy.
And note one thing- if you don’t stand up to a woman’s expectations of masculinity and what she is searching for, you are pretty much doomed to get into the friend zone territory and stay there.
A bit later, we will focus on the bad boy vs. nice guy what to go after.
Nice Guy Habits That Land You Into The Friend Zone
1. No Self-Pride
For a second, think about it from a woman’s point of view. What qualities would you search in a guy? Well, for starters, there should be some form of self-esteem and pride.
Girls want their men to be strong and charismatic, eager to achieve their dreams and ambitions. When ladies see a guy who is passionately following his dreams, it makes them attracted to him more and more.
Sadly, this cant be said for the nice guy. He is willing to do everything, go through whatever it takes to keep the balance. He will have no problem licking a girl’s feet if this would save the relationship.
While this might be a bit exaggerated, it isn't all that far from the truth. This is also the reason why women lose respect for him.
2. Not Standing Up To Others
Being unique and different is always a good thing. Especially if the qualities or characteristics that differ you put you in a stronger and better position on the social ladder.
However, this is next to impossible to achieve if you are a goody-two-shoes. One thing thing is to emit more masculinity, another is to be on par with the other boys, and totally different is to continually present yourself in a weaker state, playing the role of the victim.
Remember, the role of the man has always been to protect the lady. Even today, this hasn’t changed. You can say it is ingrained in us. And not being to stand up strong will make it quite challenging to catch a girl’s eye.
3. Constant Fear Of Failure And Rejection
As a nice guy, you aim to make sure you get on good terms with others. So, what happens when others don’t get along with you that well?
Well, it is your job to satisfy them. Do you see how this logic puts you at a disadvantage and turns off girls so bad?
And the opposite is just as valid- nice guys are afraid to approach and pull the trigger because they fear rejection.
The fear of rejection is the sole drive that forces the nice guy to act the way he does because if his relationship falls apart, he might be laughed at from others.
4. Nice Guys Make It Clear How Kind They Are
This can ruin your image in an instant. Remember, girls are attracted to bad boys because they can provoke, intrigue, and offer passionate experience. Women love going after someone they can't tame easily.
On the other hand, we have the nice guy. If a confrontation with a girl occurs, pay close attention to the reaction of the nice guy. If the girl wants something or she will leave him for another guy, the nice guy almost instantly will do whatever it takes to satisfy her.
On that term, you might hear a phrase of the likings of:
“Of course, I will do it for you (or buy it for you), you know I am this type of guy.”
This is literally a death sentence. With this, you just said that you would do whatever she wants whenever she wants because you are afraid of losing her.
In the same situation, a real man would follow his guts and do what he himself considers right, no matter if he will lose the girl or not. Not to mention, if this is anything close to a real rapport, the girl will be willing if not eager to be with you, after all, she must love you to be with you.
5. Cant Handle Rejection
Oh boy, are rejections sensitive topics!
Rejections are always accompanied with a lot of pain and sorrow. However, the way you handle them can give a clear sign of your character and how mature it is.
A nice guy or not, rejection is something almost everyone faces in life. However, there is something in particular that you need to pay close attention to.
What would the nice guy do when he is rejected?
Well, usually one the these two- either start promising he will do everything for his sweet princess, trying to overpromise and overdeliver his way to keep the relationship going, or he will start calling names.
Needless to say, neither of them does him any favor. Your best bet would be to say something like “Fine” , “No hard feeling,” or whatever it might be and get out of the talk ASAP.
Nevertheless, being too impulsive, the nice guy often overreacts like the misfortune of the entire world is happening solely on him. You need to remember that everyone goes through hardships, so you have to suck up your panty holes and move on with your life.
Nice Guys Vs Bad Boys VS Good Guys
Roughly speaking, we can declare things as following: the bad boy wins in the short term, while the good guy wins in the long run.
When meeting with a potential partner, women are often emotionally driven. Well, every human being is. Sometimes, girls want to experience excitement, adventures and thrills right now, at the very moment. Therefore, the bad boy always has it easy in the beginning. His image arguably can give a girl what she is looking for at the very moment. However, this is as far as being a jerk can get you.
In the long run, the good guy always wins. I say the good guy because he is the “version” of nice guy women search for. Being kind, but not over protective and over delivering.
So, if we are to sum it up, we would say that there is something good to be found in the mentioned types of men- be caring as the good guy and act tough as the bad boy. Take the very best features and use them yourself for the best results.
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