If you have recently talked to a “player,” you might have heard a phase among the lines of:
“There is so much fish in the sea, how the hell are you still single?”
“Just go to the girl and ask her out!”
“It is all about confidence!”
“You have to be more charismatic…”
And the rest goes on and on. If this was the case, why are there so many guys facing severe hardships when picking up girls?
While there is some truth to the statements above, in this article, we will go a step further into the psychology of attracting and picking up girls, and securing yourself a date. So let’s dive into this!
Be Stylish To Pick Up Women
First thing first, you need to make your style is on point. I have mentioned it many times throughout the posts- if your first impression isn't on point, it will be your last impression.
Style is vital because the way you dress, and the way you take care of your body will instantly reveal different aspects of you. It can show just how serious concern you take of yourself, how well you treat yourself and how much effort you put into creating a desirable image for yourself.
Luckily, you don’t need to go over the board here. Remember two things- avoid skinny jeans and avoid too big shirts/t-shirts. These two seem to be the main issue guys have in terms of clothing.
One more thing- never forget to put the necessary effort into grooming, regardless of how much or little ambition you have. If it is a girl you want to pick up your aim, this will be well worth your time!
Be Nice, Cool And Friendly- But Not An Idiot!
One thing that comes to mind is having a pleasant and enjoyable personality that will naturally attract the lady. What better than playing it relaxed, sweet and friendly?
Furthermore, girls have shown increased preference in guys who can approach and connect to them in a casual way to guys who straight out reveal their emotions.
Once you get on good terms with her, then hang out and/or date, and after all of this you can always ask her to be your girlfriend.
On the one hand, this seems to be the most successful approach to pick up girls continuously and effectively.
On the other hand, however, we have two derivatives of this behavior that will both do you more harm than good.
The first derivative is being too friendly and smiling all the time. I have seen guys trying this method (or maybe this is their normal way to talk to girls). I have to say that it brings little to no success.
While being friendly is by no means a downside, having a smile all the time and agreeing to everything she says, aka being super polite, is your one-way ticket to the friend zone. Girls want to date a guy who can keep it fresh. Which brings me to the second derivative.
The secon derivative is being too indifferent to the girl. This technique is recommended by some gurus as a way to provoke and make her chase you, pretty much reversing the idea of you asking her and instead letting her do the work. While it may produce some intrigue and/or interest, be warry that if you keep on with this behavior for too long or be way too indifferent to the girl, even when she is hitting you up, you will fail.
Are Compliments A Good Way To Pick Her Up?
All girls love receiving compliments. It is a no brainer. So, shouldn’t this mean that you have to compliment her to pick her up?
Yes and no. As I mentioned above, girls like guys who are chill. This goes to say, they don’t seek much attraction in men who seem to be needy, picky or greedy.
And if you are planning to use a compliment as an opener, your chances of success instantly drop.
A terrible way to begin a talk with a girl would be to say something like:
“Hey, I am (NAME). I think you are pretty.”
As you can probably tell, this sentence lacks something. Don’t get me wrong, this might be your truth and you honestly believe she is beautiful. However, since you are approaching a girl that knows nothing about you, you stand a higher chance of presenting yourself as a creep rather than her potential boyfriend.
Now, can this approach work? It absolutely can, nevertheless, from my observations the guy using it get rejected in most cases.
If you want to compliment her, use as an opener you name, aka present yourself, try to have a small talk, nothing of particular importance, and then, if you want to, make a sudden compliment about a specific trait you like about her.
Keep in mind that the praise should be spontaneous, a bit more specific and said with enthusiasm. Well, you mean what you say, right?
Pick Up Women By Being Yourself And Enjoying It!
I bet you didn’t see this one coming!
One advice that guys are usually given is to act in a certain way- try to be a bad boy, be the alpha male, have this type of style…
Now, don’t confuse this with mimicry. If you feel like there are certain traits or aspects of the types of men mentioned above that will benefit you, by all means, try to learn them and adopt them.
However, if this isn't your goal and you are merely trying to act tough for a 10-minute talk with a girl in the hope of picking her up, forget about it. This will lead you to nowhere.
Act Like The Alpha She Would Want To Date
This part seems to come in opposition to the previous point, but not exactly. As we already mentioned, there are some dominant traits in the behavior of the bad boy or the alpha male mentality you would like to adopt.
Aspects such as temperament, deep and calm voice, having nerves of steel- and others- will help you in all areas of your life, including dating.
It is widely known that in most cases, women are attracted to these characteristics. Moreover, they will make you feel more manly and help you emit masculinity.
So, a piece of good advice might be to put time and effort into developing your personality and character to reflect that of a leader, the one who posses the traits mentioned above.
You will love yourself more, and girls will be all over you!
You Won't Pick Up Girls Unless You Calm Your Nerves
Above, we mentioned how vital playing it cool can be. Still, it is necessary to mention the opposite- avoid getting nervous.
A thing that might come as a shock, but you don’t have to do anything special to pick up a girl. Hold a regular talk, treat her a drink, and ask her out. It is this simple!
Nevertheless, even if you have a perfect plan that is sure to attract the girl, if you cannot carry it out the way you intend, it will all be in vain.
And the single thing that can ruin the impression is being nervous.
Remember, you have only two ways to make an impression that will determine your chances from the start- the way you are dressed and the first thing that comes out of your mouth.
This is the reason why I went briefly over the importance of a good style.
However, even a fantastic style cant compensate a bad behavior.
When you walk to the girl and start engaging, just relax and tell her what you have intended to say and probably rehearsed several times beforehand. Make it sound natural and fluent, because it should be coming from your heart and soul.
And when you are nervous and unsure what you are doing, making pauses every 3 seconds and having “ammmmmmmmmm” moments, it seems as if you don’t indeed mean what you are saying.
Keep in mind, you want to connect to your crush. Thus, this should be an amazing and enjoyable experience for both of you. In this state of mind, stop worrying and just pull the damn trigger and take action!
Treat The Girl With Respect
This one is in connection to “playing it cool, but not too cool.” Answer this one question- how would you feel if you knew that you weren’t a priority, but a mere option to your crush? Chances are, pretty damn sad.
Well, the same logic goes for the opposite case. When you are holding a small talk, you can be friendly, but in your attempt to play it “badass,” you stand a chance of acting greedy.
Whatever you do and/or say, don’t make it sound like you came to the girl only because you have nothing better to do right now and, thus, you decided to kill some time with her.
This is a recipe for disaster. Furthermore, don’t brag about your accomplishments and achievements. If she asks you a question in close relation to them, go ahead and tell her.
But avoid bragging at all costs.
Remember, girls will often treat you the way you have shown them through your talk and actions on how you will treat them. So, treat them with respect, and you stand high chances of getting the girl.
Don’t Talk Sex Only!
Funny or not, this is something you should watch out for.
First thing first, if you are approaching a beautiful girl, she already knows she is attractive. In most cases, she has had enough guys telling her that while trying to pick her up.
Second, if you are hitting her up, she has a good idea where things are going.
And third, nobody wants to know that they are simply being used. And the moment you start over-sexualizing the topic of discussion, you are likely giving her the wrong impression.
For starters, it might be your best bet to either ask her to chill sometime or directly ask her out on a date. You can work things from there.
Don’t Try Hard With Pick Up Lines
You might have heard different opinions on whether one should use pick up lines or not. Maybe you yourself have seen a YouTube Compilation where a guy used but one pick up line and got all the girls.
Well, for the guy it might have worked (in case the video isn't fake, lol), but in real life, these attempts will most likely make the girls cringe rather than attract them.
As I said, you should act casual, like you are pretty much talking to your best friend (with respect, that is). And, in this case, you wouldn’t use stupid lines from a video or movie. So why would you then try to pick up a girl using them?
While Talking, Turn Her On
Approaching beautiful women can be difficult if you aren’t sure what you are supposed to do.
This is the problem many nice guys have. Let’s assume that you have calmed your nerves and are ready to approach and hold a conversation with any charming girl out there. That’s awesome!
But there is also a problem. Let’s also assume that you are talking to a gorgeous girl. The conversation is going quite well, you are trying to present yourself in the limelight and get her attention. But where do you think a simple good talk will lead to?
While you cannot act straight up like a sexual maniac, you do need to give some hints about your intentions.It can be that you want to take her on a date and have a good time together.
But merely holding a friendly conversation which the girl will enjoy is not enough. How will your small talk be any different from the ones she is having with the other boys? And how would she know that you want to date her if you are casually friendly and nice- what signs will give her the needed impression?
This simply goes to say, try and flirt a bit with the girl. Nothing too crazy. In fact, if you decide to go over the board, you will be straight out rejected. But to give her a hint or two is all you need at this point. Once she starts growing more interest in you, you can work from there.
Don’t Be Afraid To Approach And Attract Beautiful Women
This is one of the most critical points. It is impossible to be victorious all the time.
Just the opposite- it is reasonable to fail time and time again, especially in the beginning. Remember, you are still learning the way to “handle” the situation and charm the girls.
One of the reasons most dating experts are so damn successful with representatives of the opposite sex is because they have a lot ofexperience.
Nobody asks them how much they have failed and how many times they have been rejected, right?
All that we see is how easily they can attract and charm girls now, after they have learned from failing so many times all the small tips and tricks that make the difference.
And if you think it will be much different for you, I have a bridge to sell you.
Sure, some guys will have a better time than others and will struggle less than others. You might be one of these guys!
But, let’s be a bit more realistic- you will try your best and fail until you get the hang of it and you finally get a good idea of how to charm that beauty.
So, my point is, don’t be afraid to connect. Don’t be scared to go to beautiful women and start small talks with them, or even ask them out. And also, don’t be frightened of rejection like it is the end of the world.
Because It is not, so stop worrying about it and start taking action. Who knows, it might be easier to attract and pick up beautiful women than you think!
Sings Of Confidence That Attract Beautiful Women
While girls and their preferences vary dramatically, there are several things you can do that almost always guarantee you will leave a good impression and impress the girl.
And all of them are more or less connected to confidence. But why does everything have to do with confidence?
Confidence is a characteristic typical for mentally strong people,the ones who aren’t afraid to stand out and lead. Furthermore, it is set deep inside us to treat confident people with respect.
If you think about it, all great people who are changing the world, have an immense aura of self-esteem. On the other hand, just how many people around you that you see on an everyday basis have confidence, if any, at all?
As strange as it seems, self-esteem has turned into a rare commodity. And those who possess it always leave a good impression. And how can you replicate it in terms of dating?
Start by looking at the girl in the eyes when you are holding a conversation. Don’t just look at her for 1 second and turn around. What kind of impression do you leave if you cannot even look at her straight for several seconds?
This small trick always does wonders. It shows a great deal of respect toward the person you are talking to, while on the other hand, shows that you feel confident in your own skin.
Don’t be afraid to compliment her. Just one small compliment can do wonders for you. And, please, when she compliments you, don’t say something stupid like “Oh really, you think so?”
If a girl says she likes something about you, and you tell her this answer, how do you think you are presenting yourself? You need reassurance because you don’t believe you have that good trait that she mentioned and this ruins the impression. So just smile back and say “Thanks!”- this will give you way better chances of success!
Be Careful With Rejection
You are steering away from approaching the girl because you fear rejection. After all, there is no such thing as a guarantee that she will react the way you expect.
Remember this line- even if you don’t get the girl, just laugh over it and get out. DO NOT keep talking to her or trying to convince her that she is making a mistake. Just laugh it over and get the hell out.
In most cases, since you are nervous, you aren’t thinking straight. Even if she rejected you, you should know, this doesn’t necessarily mean you have no chances. It just says that right now you didn’t succeed.
However, in your anger and frustration, you will most likely say things that will negate all future attempts and chances you might have, while presenting you in the worst possible light in the eyes of all the people that might be around and observing what is happening.
So remember, if it doesn’t go the way you planned, this indicates a temporary setback, but not a defeat.
Most Effective Guide To Picking Up Women
Picking up girls can be quite challenging and difficult. You have probably heard it- girls themselves don’t know what they want, yet they are super picky.
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