One skill that is vital to your success is talking to girls. To become a woman-magnet, you need to know how to start a conversation with a girl. You need to be able to provoke, intrigue and connect to her on various levels.
Nevertheless, holding a pleasant and enjoyable conversation, especially one that can last for a relatively long time, can be quite a challenging task. Even more so if you are unsure how to approach, how to react and what to talk about.
Thus, to help you connect with the girl and get her to like you over a simple small talk, I will share with you various steps and approaches that will guarantee your success.
What To Talk About With A Girl
Whether you are wondering how to talk to a girl for the first time or you want to provoke a crush you have known for a long time, you need to figure out what are you going to talk about.
Every girl is different and will respond in a different matter to your topic. So make sure you get a good idea of what she might be passionate or excited about and think about how you can start a theme around it.
If you are unsure where to start, here are several useful starting points which can give you better directions:
- Passion And Goals
- Family ( And Family Members)
- Exciting Experiences
- Popular Movies/ Ongoing Series ( Girls Freaking Love This)
- Discuss Something Trending And/Or Happening Around Her Life
These are great topics around which you can turn into a fantastic conversation. And there is a high likelihood that you will provoke a positive response from her. Now, let's dive deeper into the topics themselves.
The best way to get a girl to like you over a talk would be to stress on something that she would enjoy and will be happy to talk about. And what better than interests?
After all, her interests define her character and are easily one of the best ways to get a good idea of what you can focus on to prolong the talk. Does she have an interest that intrigues you? Ask her to tell you more about, even go as far as wanting her to teach you about it.
If you can change the talk in a direction that will get the two of you doing an exciting activity together, your game will be on the next level.
2. Passion And Goals
What can help you change the pace of the game when talking to a girl you like is referring to her big bodacious goals and ambitions that lie ahead of time.
If the girl shares she is passionate about achieving something big in her life, showing your excitement and encouraging her would free up space for an emotional attachment.
This can be quite touching, asking her to share her view and elaborating on it.
Nevertheless, there is also a catch. If you feel like your attempts are going nowhere or that she doesn't really want to discuss it, IMMEDIATELY change the topic.
While some people can be quite ambitious, others might have more “down-to-earth” views.
Keep in mind, your mission is to hold a conversation that can actually get the two of you closer, so close that you would want to ask her out on a date.
3. Family ( And Family Members)
One topic that I see more and more girls enjoying is talking about their families. There is always that one crazy member who is awkward and weird, but so damn entertaining at the same time.
And usually this topic is closer to a girl’s heart since she holds her family members dear.
More often than not, you can start by asking her about something funny/crazy that is happening with her family and go from there onwards. It is usually pleasant and enjoyable, and not to mention that you are getting a good understanding of what her life looks like.
However, keep in mind that you should take your turn, as well. If she is talking about her family, make sure to put in something entertaining and cathing that is happening to your family and relatives.
And, by no means make it seem like an interrogation! Nobody likes it!
4. Exciting Experiences
A fantastic way to attract a girl over a small talk would be by pointing out your ( and her) exciting experiences. This topic allows you to reveal all the wild and fascinating aspects of your life. Therefore, you have higher chances of provoking interest in the girl.
Not to mention, it doesn’t matter if it is something silly or maybe quite scary, exciting experiences are often things a person can freely talk about and laugh over them.
And this component is vital. One of your aims would be to make a girl laugh.
Having a girl laugh in a small talk instantly shows that you are a pleasant company, someone who she would gladly hang out with. Not to mention that she is already associating you with positive feelings and emotions.
Maybe all you need to do is talk about something silly you have done and have a good laugh over it- and you might get the key to her heart!
5. Popular Movies/ Ongoing Series ( Girls Freaking Love This)
Wondering what to talk about with girls? Why don’t you try to focus on an upcoming movie or an ongoing series?
If you haven’t noticed, girls, Netflix and chill go all hand in hand.
More often than not, women become deeply attached and emotionally addicted to a particular series they are watching. And they can and want to talk about it for hours, literally.
A good topic that you can stress on and expect great success might be this one.
You are directly showing the girl that you share a similar passion/preference while continuously getting closer to one another.
So, an excellent suggestion would be to try out this idea for yourself and see just how far you can go. Chances are, she might not be willing to let go of you!
6. Discuss Something Trending And/Or Happening Around Her Life
Your girl makes it clear that she likes to chill and have a good time. And a brand new Starbucks is being opened in your town. Why don’t you ask her to go on a date there?
There is a dynamic happening all the time in girls’ lives. Pleasant or not, usually they are open to discuss it.
And this can be an excellent opportunity for you to find a topic that will connect you.
If something is trending right now and she seems intrigued by it, you can have a killer conversation that will skyrocket your chances of success.
What You Can Focus On To Keep The Conversation Going
When you are just at the beginning of a passionate talk, everything is going quickly and smoothly.
Nevertheless, there comes that time when you are about to exhaust everything there is to be said about that specific idea. And here comes the question a lot of guys struggle- how to keep a conversation with a girl going.
While there isn’t a straightforward answer, there are several things that can help you and give you some insight on how to proceed.
Reacting To Her Saying
More often than not, the easiest way to prolong a topic would be to react to whatever the girl says, gravitating towards an idea. If you find a topic that seems particularly interesting and exciting, and she makes it clear she enjoys it, you can simply start elaborating on it.
It might look like you are going back and forth, switching from one person to another, but this is an effective way to fill the void until you come up with a better idea.
Asking About Her And Talking About You
If you have built up some level of connection and interest, you can always ask the girl a question about her (even better if that topic excites you in particular). If you show her that you are actively listening to her and have an interest in whatever she is talking about, the girl will feel encouraged to continue forward.
Not to mention that you are showing yourself in the limelight by letting her share whatever she has up her mind.
Furthermore, you can always focus on her words and go in a direction once you find something fascinating that you can talk about.
On the other hand, you can always take the ball and start talking about your own ideas, views, hobbies and passion. It can always come in handy, especially when you are short of ideas.
This way, you are creating a good image for yourself by showing how well you know yourself and just how ambitious you are.
The one small thing you don’t want to overlook is talking about yourself all the time- at some point it starts feeling like bragging, and this is something no one likes.
Talking About Her Day, Your Day Or Something That Has Recently Happened
If you feel like you are at a loose end, simply ask her how her day is going. There is always something that can create tension and she might want to discuss to relieve stress.
On the other hand, you can focus on something exciting that you have experienced today or in the last couple of days.
A good idea would be to focus on a thing or topic that can actually provoke a positive response from her side. This means, avoid all trivial and dull annoying things that you might have experienced and are considering talking about simply because you don’t have a better idea in mind.
Showing Her Your Awesome Sense Of Humor
When you are in a conversation, it is quite natural to feel stuck from time to time. A great way to open up room for ideas can be to bring in a joke or two.
On the one hand, you are easing the conversation. If you feel like the talk is becoming an interrogation, just tell her a joke or two and make her laugh.
On the other hand, you are showing just how amazing of a personality you have. And this aspect is vital. Girls admit that they'd prefer a guy who can keep the talk going, however, make it funny enough so that the girl will have a good reason to strive to get the guy.
So, an easy way to kill two birds with one stone is making her laugh( and, of course, smile).
What To Talk About When Building The Rapport
When you are holding a conversation with a girl you like, you cannot just jump from “How is your day going” to “Go out on a date with me.”
It doesn’t work that way. The momentum hasn’t been built yet.
So, instead, you would like to start giving her hints about your intention. Your goal is to show the possible direction where the conversation is going and what you might be going after.
And, you can do this by using some of the following topics.
1. Talk About How You Would Love To Hang Out Again
If you are enjoying her company, let her know! Is there a better way to show you are on good terms with her?
By letting her know you want to hang out with her, you are indirectly telling her you have some specific preference and interest in her. This is quite helpful to carry the message and to make it clear that you are going after a date!
2. Focus On Something Exciting And How You Would Like Her To Be A Part Of It
Do you like playing football? And she said that she had played football before with her little brother?
Why not make her part of your passion then?
Make sure to let her know that you share a similar view and you want her value in your world. For instance:
“If you are such a sports fan, why don’t we play together later? Maybe you can teach me something I don’t know. Or maybe I can show you something you haven’t seen before…”
Quite passionate and provocative, right?
You start talking about sports, yet you free up room for imagination. You aren’t telling her directly your intentions, yet you are giving noticeable hints of your plans.
This can easily intrigue her and make her eager to find out more. This might be all you need to take her out!
3. Talk About Something Connect To Dating
A good idea to pick her up might be by talking about dating! You can approach this in two ways.
Firstly, you can be talking about how you see your future amazing girlfriend. This should already be giving enough hints of what’s to happen.
Secondly, you can try and ask her about what her perfect boyfriend looks like and to describe him.
Why would you be asking her that question if you aren’t willing to be that same guy?
This provokes to the point that she will get your idea. Yet, you are still just talking with her while going into a specific direction.
Nevertheless, if you feel like she is giving you a direct sign to ask her out, this will be your best opportunity to do so. In that case, GO for it! Make the most out of the moment and the growing momentum.
Flirt With A Girl Over A Conversation
While having a good time might be great, you want something more out of it. You want to make clear what your intent is. You need to make sure she gets the message and wants to proceed the way you want, aka to date you.
And how can you correctly start building up sexual tension and flirt with the girl?
By following these steps.
Give Her A GOOD Compliment
If you want to give her a better understanding of your intent, a great way to carry the message would be by complimenting her. Now, there are different ways you can approach this topic.
I would suggest being topically related and a bit more specific.
Let’s say you are discussing members of the family or something closely related.
Now let’s imagine she has green eyes.
You can complement her by saying:
“Does any of your parents have the same gorgeous green eyes you have?”
This is an elegant technique to reference a specific trait you like about her without being creepy. Furthermore, you are starting to build some interest and curiosity that can escalate into a rapport.
Nevertheless, you should keep one thing in mind- do NOT overdo it and do not say one compliment after another.
The whole idea of complimenting her during the talk is to charm her. And this works best when it is sudden and not forced.
If your flirting game becomes predictable, you will have a hard time getting the girl.
So while you are having a casual conversation, just throw in a compliment or two( no more than two and not one after the other!).
It might do wonders for you!
Make It Clear You Want To Spend Time Together
The whole point of flirting over a conversation with a girl is to get to spend some quality time alone with her.
This, however, is easier said than done. Because if you are talking with a girl for the first time, or simply don’t feel like it’s the right time, you might have a hard time getting her to say yes to a date invitation.
So, you would like to approach the topic from a different angle- instead of straight asking her out, you can make it clear that you enjoy her company and would like to hang out again sometimes.
Moreover, you can directly suggest an idea or a pace she might have a good time exploring and get her to come and chill with you.
Actually Asking Her Out
This approach would be your closer. This is a bold move and would rely on you having the guts to pull it out.
However, if you feel like the girl is having a good time and believe she is willing to hook up with you, then there is absolutely no reason why you can't ask her out.
However, it would be better to say something cute and touching before you go in for the close.
“You are gorgeous.”
“You are amazing.”
“You are awesome.”
This a great technique you can use to provoke an emotional connection from her. What you would like to do immediately after that would be to ask her out. You can proceed as:
“You are stunningly gorgeous. Go out on a date with me!”
The idea here is to try and touch/open her heart and then ask her out to go out with you. Your chances of success dramatically increase this way and having the courage to say this will often do the work perfectly fine!
Never Talk With A Girl About These Topics
While talking to girls and getting them to go on a date with you sounds fantastic, the moment you bring up specific topics, your chances instantly drop and become slim to none.
It is next to impossible to talk about specific topics because of the sensitive matter they can be connected to.
And what exactly am I referring to?
First of all, we have the background. While some people might be proud of the country they are coming from, others will face difficulties in discussing this matter. And even though the girl has no control over this topic, as well as some of the others, sometimes she will find it rather difficult and unpleasant to talk freely.
And this goes hand in hand with the second point- avoid political discussion. Nowadays, I see more and more people arguing about politics. However, you need to keep in mind that too many people can be sensitive about this topic.
And just one wrong sentence will kill the whole atmosphere and you will have to call it a day.
Next in the list is religion. People will react in a different way to this topic, however, once again, it can be quite challenging to have any meaningful conversation without hurting someone’s feelings. So better just avoid it.
Also, you shouldn’t forget to NEVER dig deep into a topic the girl seems rather sensitive talking about.
Let’s say she is studying at university and fails a test she has been studying day and night for. Or maybe she is your co-worker and was fired.
These examples give great insight to what to avoid at all costs. In the presented scenarios, you are likely to provoke emotional pain and hurt her instead of actually achieving something meaningful.
By definition, when you are talking with a woman, your focus should be on positivity, optimism, having an enjoyable and exciting time, making her laugh and smile( a lot).
If you manage to build this atmosphere by following the ideas above and avoiding the topics mentioned in this section, you will have the very best chance to get yourself a date.
What You Want To Keep In Mind When Talking With A Girl
Okay, you have the topics you want to focus on, you have an idea of where you are going, what to focus on and what to avoid.
Here I will share general tips to keep in mind, so you get a better conception how to talk to girls.
1. Never Rush
One of the worst things guys do is that they always try and rush through the conversation. It is like- now or never, this conversation or no one.
Let's be honest, unless you have a lot of experience and know how to approach, talk, charm and seduce the girl, you are most likely not going to achieve all of that in a single talk.
So don’t rush through it. For now, all you need to do is get on friendly terms with her. Once you notice she has some interest or passion for you, then you can move forward.
More often than not, it would be better to take is slow and succeed instead of rushing it and fail.
2. Keep It Casual
Even if you are talking with the love of your life and want to finally tell her, if you have no emotions built in her, you won't go far.
According to researches, women prefer guys who can approach and casually talk to them.
If you are too nervous, sweating all the time, getting red, talking too fast, etc., something feels out of place. The whole idea of the conversation is it to feel natural.
So, your best bet would be to approach her like a regular friend and later in the talk turn her into your girlfriend.
3. Where In The Relationship Are You Exactly?
Another critical aspect you would want to take into consideration is where in the relationship are you exactly and how you can move onto the next level.
Are the two of you meeting for the first time or you have known each other for years?
Have you been best friends for years or maybe you have been co-workers for a couple of months.
These are all critical aspects you need to think about. They can indicate how fast you can go with your talk and when to pull the trigger.
Regardless of the scenario, follow the first tip- never rush it.
If you are meeting a girl for the first time and you seem to get along, you can try and ask her at the end of the conversation.
If you want to ask out a girl you have known for quite a while, maybe you won't be able to do it from the first talk. In that case, you need to build your image of a possible boyfriend in her eyes and ask her out on the second or third talk you are having (once you have given her signals beforehand what your intention is).
You may have to rely on your guts to determine the right speed you should be following. And I highly encourage you to do so.
4. This Is A Talk, Not An Execution!
Exactly! You are having a talk, not an execution. So stop worrying about it as if you are about to get your head chopped off.
This should be something you are excited about, you should tell yourself this:
“I am going to talk to my crush and make her my girlfriend!”
This is what should be going in your mind — not worries. Because, the more you worry, the more stress you build, the higher the chances of you screwing things up.
So relax, catch a deep breath and conquer your love!
Make Small Talk Sexy
And here you have it. A guide that focuses on what to gravitate towards, what topics you would want to focus on, which ones you should avoid, what to keep in mind and some directions you can follow on your way to getting a successful date.
All of the steps outlined above, as well as many others, are presented in “Make Small Talk Sexy”- arguably the ultimate guide on charming a girl over a single conversation. An insane amount of scenarios are covered, so you don’t have to worry about any tips or tricks missing.
If you want to learn the most effective way to connect to a girl over a talk, you can check out our full review here.