So, there is a beautiful girl that has caught your attention, and you can't get her out of your mind? You are wondering how to approach her, what to say, where to invite her to go, should you ask her out immediately… And, simultaneously, you are also considering all the possible responses from her side and how you will proceed to reply to them.
I understand you. After all, this has happened to all of us. All men have lusted after a drop-dead gorgeous girl at one point or another. And, if you have asked professional pickup artists, you would have heard pretty much the same thing- it is easy to pick up girls.
And that is the damn truth. Picking up girls and texting them should be funny, exciting, thrilling. If picking up girls and texting them ever start feeling difficult and complicated, you aren’t doing something right. You are overanalyzing simple things, which causes you to paralyze.
In this post, I will share with you several things to keep in mind when texting a girl on Facebook. Read all of them, apply them, and ask yourself- is this hard, and is this supposed to be difficult? No, of course. Now, let’s find out why.
How To Start Texting And Talking To A Girl On Facebook
1. Set your Profile Right
Before you even consider texting a girl on Facebook, you need to make sure that everything within your own profile is in check. Why? Because this will be the first thing your girl will look at, and your profile will create the first impression.
This should be obvious, but right now, there are dozens, if not hundreds of kinds of dating apps, or sites you can try your luck with girls- Facebook, Whatsapp, Instagram, Tinder, Bumble, AdultFriendFinder,…
Arguably, dating has never been easier, since you can connect with more people than ever before. However, this also means that you have more competition. And when you are just one guy in a pool of hundreds of thousands, a girl will not spend much time, if any at all, going through all the single details you have.
For some girls, just taking a look at the first three images that come up when looking at your profile is enough to decide whether they would have any interest in dating you or not.
For that matter, build a proper foundation first. I would suggest you set up a simple, yet killer account. And this is relatively easy to do.
To begin with, I suggest you improve your photo gallery. Simply remove all the pictures that make you look like an idiot. This unites images where you are drunk, having a bad haircut and/or clothes combination, and overall anything that makes you look less manly.
You get the point. Ideally, what you want your profile to say is that you are a masculine and relaxed guy who has a great, exciting, and intriguing life, who enjoy having a good time and is someone a girl will be passionate to date. If you want, hire an expert to take several professional pictures of you.
The bottom line is, most girls are attracted to masculinity, a positive and chill vibe, and an exciting and intriguing encounter. And you won't be able to achieve this by writing quotes or anything similar on your images.
And please, for the love of God, don’t post moronic videos or stories. A strange tendency I have seen is that some guys try to have a new story every single day, and most of the time, it is an idiotic video, that quite often isn't even that funny.
Think of it this way, if it took a girl only three pictures, one story, and one post to determine the type of guy you are, what would you like your message to be? This is precisely what I am asking you to do, so you maximize your chances from the start.
2. Get To Know The Girl Before You Text Her On Facebook
You already know this - girls have gazillion accounts across all social media platforms. They crave attention, they love getting likes, they adore kind and spicy comments. And, of course, they post a lot of stuff on their social media.
Well, you can use it to your advantage. Go over her profile on, let’s say, three platforms. Don’t just gaze at her in everything she has posted, but pay attention to her surroundings.
Does the girl often post in nature, in the gym, in a café, or where? What activities does she seem to be involved in? What would you say about her character? Are there any guys she hangs/chills with- what do they look like, and how are they different from you?
If you go through several dozens of her posts, which won't take you that long, you can quickly answer all these questions. And why is this important? Because you need a common ground, you need a foundation on which to build the future rapport with the girl.
And guess what? You already have a good idea about the girl, or at the very least, assumptions that are really close to being accurate. And you will use this in the following steps.
3. Facebook Conversation Starter- Why It Should Be Short
There are several huge misconceptions on this one topic, so let’s try to clear any misunderstandings.
To begin with, women love texting, chatting, and along with them, receiving attention. You probably know that yourself.
And one can quickly come to the assumption that the right way to go would be to have a friendly, fascinating discussion with her, texting the girl on Facebook.
Wrong. Women love texting, but they don’t necessarily like you texting. Now, let me explain what that means.
Text conversation is meant to be short and to the point. You should get to know each other in person, not on Facebook. You do not want to text a girl too much because you reveal that you have nothing exciting going on in your life, that’s why you spend the entire day ghosting her and thinking about her.
Well, no woman will be intrigued by this. Moreover, the more you text, the more mix signals you give - you want to take the lady out and make her your girlfriend, or be texting buddies?
For this matter, short is always better when texting girls. If she understands you have a lot going on, she will be naturally intrigued to learn more about you. And that is what you want.
4. Focus On Pleasant And Enjoyable Topics For Both Of You
Since you are approaching the girl, it would be reasonable for you to introduce yourself quickly and start a small talk in connection to something you both enjoy.
This will prevent awkward moments/pauses and will let the ground on which you can build the future rapport.
Unless you are really smooth, or you have set a killer profile, you will need to gradually build attraction. If you expect her to exchange 2-3 sentences back and forth, and then ask her out, chances are you will fail.
Will you date a girl that suddenly approached you and asked you to go out with her? Probably not, unless you know at least a tiny bit about her and can be sure you aren't getting yourself in a lot of trouble.
For that sake, I suggest you focus on an everyday activity that both of you are passionate about.
You might be viewed as a bit creepy or too direct if you ask her out straight away, but it is entirely reasonable to ask her to simply hang out together.
Moreover, you are focused on doing an activity that is pleasant for the girl, and she enjoys it. This, alongside your great company, should be enough for her to go out and chill with you. And when you get her out, then you ask her questions about herself and get to know her. Not when texting the girl on Facebook.
5. What And How To Text And DM A Girl On Facebook
While the previous four steps give you a good idea of several things to focus on to maximize your results, they don’t say what, or rather how to text a girl properly.
I have not given you any precise scripts, words, and phrases to use. So, how do you know that your texts won't suck?
This is a huge red flag that is easily noticeable in the texting “game” of most guys. You get worried over every single small detail, over every word, over the meaning of every phrase you write.
And why do you become obsessed? Because you want the girl to desperately like you. Because, down deep inside, you don’t really believe that any other girl might like you, and if you miss this chance, there will never be another.
Well, how exactly are you supposed to put your best foot forward and leave a desirable impression if your mind is occupied with such thoughts?
Remember, we become what we think about. And the more you focus on negativity and on all the possible things that can go wrong, the higher the chance of you screwing everything up.
Even if you want a long term relationship, no girl will commit to you on the first text or the first date. Girls enjoy when you are playful, when you don’t agree with everything they say, when there is a thrill of you being hard to get.
Act as if you had ten other smoking hot girls begging to take them out. You wouldn't be really interested if you had one more or less, right?
This is the exact same mindset of abundance you need to have to invite the girl to chill with you and eventually become your girlfriend.
6. Be More Playful And Don't Be Afraid To Flirt
Having cleared your mind from the previous step, it should be pointed out that a successful encounter with women, be it in person or over text, is not about the small talk, but the way you talk.
Too often, guys are focused on a specific set of actions they need to take, certain questions they want to ask, particular texts they need to send…
The truth of the matter is, that's all bullshit. There is no specific message or words that will simply change her mindset instantaneously and make her fall for you. The truth is on a subconscious level, it is not what you say, but how you say it.
If you have seen videos of people texting girls on Facebook, you have already noted several examples. Know, let me ask you- are they something complicated? Are they something that will instantly change the mindset of the girl and make her beg for you? And, more precisely, are they really something you aren’t capable of?
Of course not. Guys always playfully approach a girl and start a conversation about something the woman enjoys and finds attractive. What is to be mentioned is to put the focus on the intention behind their messages.
They are quite light and playful, but also they are teasing the girl, creating an inner flame, and setting up a challenge. These men do not look desperate or thirsty in their interaction, which means they don’t care about the outcome of the conversation, it will not break them.
This also provokes women - why are these guys so confident, what do they have going on in their life for them, how many other girls are chasing their validations…
This playful approach where you are teasing the girl slowly but surely ignites passion and interest from her side. I said, women love a good challenge, and they will view you as the reward. This is precisely what you want.
You want to attract without even seeing to be doing anything. For that reason, loosen up and be more playful, have confidence in your abilities, and results will come.
7. Don’t Fear Rejection
This is the thing you fear the most, the thing you don’t want to hear - that the girl doesn’t feel the same and doesn’t share your passion and excitement. This thought alone drives you insane and is the reason why you cannot think straight.
Well, let me ask you this- will someone die from you deciding to text the girl? Will your life end if you gather the courage to send that first text? And, if worse comes to worst, from the billion girls on this planet, won't there be at least one more girl that will catch your attention?
You are insecure because you fear, and remember, fear stands for False Expectations Appearing Real. You fear something that has not happened, so why are you worried?
Know that you miss 100% of all the shots you don’t take. So you might as well just text the girl on Facebook and see that it is not that hard and challenging. If you want to be truly successful in life, you need to give yourself a chance to go after and pursue the things you desire. Because you are more than capable of achieving your dreams, and in this regard, your desired success with women.
Having said that, if you are looking for additional information on the best way to text a girl, I suggest you check out “The Dating Apocalypse”. This is one of the best guides on the best way to approach a woman over a text conversation and get her all over you. If this program intrigues you, you can read our review here.