How Often Should You Text A Girl And Are You Messaging Her Too Much?
When it comes to dating girls, there is one aspect you cannot neglect- the act of texting her.
More precisely, how often should you text her and how to know if too much is too much.
This is an everyday struggle for too many guys that is likely causing them severe hardships in their relationships because the whole texting can make or break the rapport.
And to help you get a better understanding of how women want you to approach this matter, I will give you an answer to some of the most important topics you might be wondering about. So, let’s dive a bit deeper and make the most out of it!
How Much Texting Is Too Much?
As you might be questioning already, what exactly do we classify under texting too much and why does it matter at all?
Basically, it is the point where you see how your once-lovely relationship is taking a turn for the worst.
Everything is going easy and smoothly, and suddently nothing makes sense anymore.
From her wanting to spend more time with you over text, she suddenly doesn’t want to talk to you anymore or even wants to force you two to break.
And, as unfortunate as this is, similar occasions happen all the time.
How To Know If You Are Texting A Girl Too Much?
When you are at the point of dating her or texting her to ask her out eventually, more text conversations are expected.
Even more, once you become a couple and want to spend more time together.
And this is the crucial part for too many relationships- you want to spend more quality time together, NOT all the time together.
Depending on where in the relationship you currently are, you would expect a different velocity to be suitable to follow.
More often than not, when you are starting to date, the two of you would want to spend more time figuring out each other.
However, often guys take it a bit too seriously, having the mentality- it is now or never, if I don’t get her now, then I never will.
Often, men become somewhat obsessed with being with their significant other. And especially if you are at the time around your first date, going all too personal and not letting go of her for a single hour or so is quite CREEPY.
This is precisely how girls see it. Texting her too much, wanting to texts her all the time and demanding a response all the time seems exceptionally unnatural, pretty much like you are forcing her to do it not on her free will.
Girls admit that seeing a guy who is time more obsessed in them than they are in the man would often be followed up by the couple breaking up.
This goes to say just how important texting her the right amount can be.
So, let’s go over what you would want to do in different scenarios.
Texting A Girl Too Much Before The First Date
If you are about to take a girl out on your first date, you might be wondering whether it would be a good idea to start texting her to set up the mood and arrange the preparations or not.
Let me answer this straight- THIS IS A HORRIBLE IDEA!
If you haven’t been on a single date yet and want to ask her out, this is precisely what you should do- TAKE HER OUT.
Otherwise,If you start continually messaging her daily, chances are, two things will happen.
First, you will seem as being needy and pushy. It a relationship, the most crucial aspect is everything to be natural, to follow a normal flow. This means she wants to go out with you because of her own will, not because you are forcing her to do it. And texting her a lot has a high chance of giving the girl the wrong impression
Second, don’t forget the thrill. When something excites you, it is only reasonable for you to want to talk about it, share the new with your friends, etc.
However, the more you are talking and discussing the date, aka texting her, the more you are killing the momentum. For instance, if you ask her out once and she agrees, there is no need to repeat whether she will go out with you or not.
Yet I observe so many guys doing this. They are so insecure or can’t believe that this will happen that they somehow manage to turn her off after she has accepted and ruin the date.
Texting A Girl Too Much After You Start Dating
Here you can take It a bit easier. You have already spent some quality time together, found out about your personalities, your preferences, your tastes…
At this point, after a couple of dates, once she has made it clear you are her boyfriend, you should expect your girl to want to text you regularly.
Furthermore, because you have a better understanding of the way you joke and express your feelings, there is only a slim chance you screw things up.
That is great, right? So, is there anything you should worry about in that case?
The answer is YES. The fact that you can spend more time with your babe and text her more often doesn’t necessarily mean that she would want to spend all her time replying to your messages.
Furtermore, women have a strong drive towards guys who are ambitious, ones who have a huge passion and a goal they want to achieve.
And if you want to spend all your day texting your girl, you aren’t creating the most favorable impression for yourself.
Not to mention, there is always something happening in people’s life. She might be busy, she might have a project she has been working on for hours or tasks she wants to finish as soon as humanly possible.
And in these cases, your constant texts will only annoy the shit out of her.
Your best bet would be to ask her what her preference for texting is.
If you don’t want to ask her directly, while you are talking, you can put in ”Do you get annoyed when people are constantly texting you?” or “How much time do you like to spend texting?”
You aim to find out her sweet spot. In a relationship, you need to spend some quality time together. This is a must.
Nevertheless, you should also know the thin border between acceptable and non-acceptable and make sure not to cross it.
How To Avoid Texting A Girl Too Much- Is Once A Day Or Once A Week Too Much?
As we already discussed, there is a thin line between having a healthy and lasting relationship and becoming annoying and seemingly needy.
Then it is only normal for a question to occur - how often should I text my girlfriend?
Let’s be honest, this depends solely on where in the relationship you are and just how much time and attention the girl wants.
However, there is also one more thing- usually, it is not about the texts but the message you carry through them, the value you bring and the intent you have.
Good examples are your typical good morning and goodnight texts.
They are cute cute and adorable. And women usually love them. Nothing carries the meaning of you are my everything better than your first thought when you wake up and your last one before you go to bed.
However, notice that some girls may not like them. They might think the texts are stupid and unnecessary or maybe it is too soon to be sending them.
So make sure you ask her directly or indirectly to find what her personal preferences are.
Furthermore, how often should you strive to text? Once every day, once per week? Maybe more, maybe less?
It all depends on how much attention and attraction your girl seeks from you.
Usually, it is alright to text her every day as long as you have something meaningful to say. It is okay if you want to hear her, but in this case, your best bet would be to arrange a date with your girl, so that you actually get to spend time together.
On the other hand, texting her once a week or less doesn’t seem like a good idea. And here is why.
Not Texting Her Enough
Texting has become a regular part of the relationship. Especially if you cannot spend all that much time together during the day, your only chance might be to exchange several text messages.
However, one thing is vital- relationships are built on strong connections.
You need to learn about your significant other, have trust in her, have faith in her, etc.
And this takes time and patience.
If you manage to spend a good portion of the day together, you might not want to text all that much.
However, if the case is different, you should definitely put more stress on texting her and trying to connect to her. And even if this is not every day, you should at least text her every other day to remind your girl that you are here, you love her and support her.
This goes to say that you should find a sweet spot that satisfies both you and your partner.
Text too little or too much and the rapport won’t go as smoothly as it possibly can.
What To Do When She Is Always Doing Something And Is Too Busy To Meet Up With Me?
What happens when you are trying to arrange a date or meet a girl and her usual response is “I am busy”?
More often than not, this is a clear indicator that she doesn’t have or has lost her interest in you.
Moreover, she might just stop reading and responding to your attempts to take her out.
The best thing you can do in this case would be to go on with your life.
If you see that things aren’t exactly working out, you might be able to sparkle an emotion or intrigue her, but usually that would be quite hard and difficult.
So your best bet would be to find yourself another girl that actually wants to spend time with you.
You can potentially ask the inital girl after a week or so just to make sure whether she wants to date you or not.
At the time of her response, she might have a lot of work and next to no free time. That can happen. Nevertheless, if after a week or so the reactions haven’t changed the slightest, this is your indicator that you should move on and search for another girl.
So, How Often Should You Strive To Text The Girl You Like?
Before you have taken her out on a date, text her only to get her out on a date. No stupid long conversations over text.
Once you become a couple and start dating, then you can increase the time you spend with your girl over text.
As long as you have something that carries a meaning, feel free to share it with her.
On the other hand, if there is nothing worth talking about, you would like to simply put the phone away and occupy your time with another activity.
If you are texting her every day and all the time, she might get the impression that nothing is happening or developing in your personal life, and this might turn her off.
Not to mention, in most cases, the result of everyday texts is merely putting you into the friend zone. Because that's what friends would do- just talk and discuss something with no real intent of forming sexual tension and the eventual relationship.
So what you might want to go after is text less, achieve more.
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It can help you learn all the specifics about picking up women online and take your game to the next level.
If you want to know more about approaching and attracting girls over text, you can read our full review.