Texting a girl is a challenge only a few guys are willing to take. Why? Because nobody wants to embarrass themselves, especially when trying to hit a beautiful lady and look like an idiot doing so.
So, what happens if you are willing to text a girl you don’t know? This can be quite an intriguing challenge, but also a rewarding one if done correctly. There are several things you should do differently in order to introduce yourself properly and actually not scare the girl.
Now, let’s dive a bit deeper into how to start texting a girl you don’t know and get the most out of it.
How To Start Texting A Girl You Don’t Know
1. Be Genuine
When I advise you to be genuine, that doesn’t mean present yourself in a stupid, needy or creepy manner. What I am referring to is simply be yourself. This thing is essential, nevertheless, most of the time, guys misunderstand it entirely.
Let me share something- from my personal experience, the perfect opener/pickup line/ text code does not exist. Very often, you will see guides that tell you word by word what to say. Personally, I believe this is the wrong choice.
Because you do not believe you are good enough with your own approach, so you start searching for, what you think you have found, better text messages to send her. You will gather a series of sentences from different blogs/articles/guides and hope that they will do the work for you.
But what happens when the girl starts talking about something you don’t have a response to? Your mind has already been blocked/prevented from thinking, you don’t have a setup phrase, you panic, and you will write something stupid.
For this matter, I want to remind you that you are talking to a girl, simply another human being. She is nothing better or worse than you. This means that your own style is more than enough to attract her if she has a genuine interest in you.
So just stop overthinking and overanalyzing every single small word or sentence, and write it the way you would say it. Being honest always leaves a good impression, and if the girl is worth it, she will understand and appreciate it.
2. Show Interest
If you are about to begin texting a girl you don’t know, it is pretty much evident that it is because you have an interest in her, isn't it? Why else would you be approaching her?
The lady might also realize it. Nevertheless, if you start gathering nerves or trying too hard, you will undoubtedly come across as needy and greedy.
You obviously know the girl from somewhere. If you can text her, this means that you directly or indirectly know her friends or have found her social profiles online.
I would suggest you introduce yourself, and start a small talk. You will have to tell her how you know about her and have found her number/profile.
The best way would be to have an exciting conversation that is connected to something she enjoys. I believe you should have at least a general idea of her preferences since you can contact her.
3. Be Playful
Keep it simple, stupid!- This is what I tell myself every time I approach a girl and I start noticing that I am gathering nerves. There is nothing complicated, so don’t make it harder than it needs to be.
I should also point out that texting is not meant for long conversations. It doesn’t matter if the girls enjoy chatting, it will not be beneficial to you to unnecessary prolong the conversation.
Moreover, when texting a girl, always try to keep it playful and exciting. Sometimes the girl will ask you dull, banal, and straightforward questions. Don’t reply with one word or a simple sentence. Think of something funny, provocative, and not too much over the top. You by no means have to be a world-class comedian to make a girl smile.
Remember, this is your initial encounter. There should be nothing too serious. The atmosphere is supposed to be joyful, playful, and exciting. My advice would be to keep it cool and be playful. By no means try too hard- trying too hard never leaves a desirable impression, and most often than not, a girl can easily see through your lies.
4. Be Excited About Meeting Her
You are obviously not approaching her simply to have another text buddy. Ideally, you want to take her out on a date. But in the beginning, I suggest both of you simply hang out somewhere and spend some time together.
In the majority of times, women might not feel secure to instantly go out with you and you only, unless there is a lot of attraction built up. But that is still not a problem. You want to spend some time with her in real life and do something that intrigues both of you.
Your girl has an interesting hobby she is passionate about? Why don’t you ask her to teach you?
The bottom line is, it needs to be exciting for her so that the girl has a genuine reason to go out with you, and not to feel like a burden on her side.
But as long as you can do something you both enjoy, there should be no problem.
5. Optimism And Positivity Are Kings
Nobody likes negativity. And nobody is attracted to pessimism. Nevertheless, they are accepted too easily in today’s society.
Remember, you are texting a girl you don’t know for the first time. You need to put your best foot forward and leave a desirable first impression of yourself.
And a great way to accomplish this is by simply showing positivity. The effect a positive behavior can leave in the eyes of others is almost exceptional. Not to mention, your image will naturally be associated with positive thoughts, images and emotions.
6. Never Drag The Conversation
Typically, since you are approaching and texting a girl you don’t know, it will be a foolish move to try and have a long conversation. Moreover, no conversation with a girl you like should be lengthy.
The whole idea behind texting girls is to take her out on a date in real life. And the more you text a girl, the more you are giving her mixed signals of your intentions, and the more you increase your chances of saying something stupid and screwing things up.
The chat should be funny, intriguing, and exciting.
A good reason a girl has to go out with you is that she is genuinely intrigued by you because there is this aura of mystery around you, and she wants to learn more about you.
If this is the case, don’t let your chances slip.
Start a friendly conversation, keep a chill vibe, and ask the girl to hang out. It's this simple.
And also, this is a quick introduction of yourself with the sole purpose of spending some time with the girl. It would be reasonable for you to want to know more about her and talk with her, especially if she is showing some interest on her end.
While the girl might be interested in having a chat with you, I would suggest keeping the questions and the actual getting to know one another part for in person. Show yourself as a man who can control himself and knows what he wants.
7. Use Emoji
Who doesn’t love using emoji?
Emoji are a great way to lighten up the conversation and make it a bit more interesting. Studies indicate that the person who uses emoji in combination with text messages has a greater response rate, and has higher chances of attracting the other person.
Emojis are a cute way that will definitely help you communicate more efficiently with a girl. Just make sure you aren’t going over the board with them, spamming emoji in every sentence.
Nevertheless, throw in a few smiley faces and see how the whole scenario changes.
8. Never Be Scared
If you are texting a girl you don’t know, you might feel a bit intimidated by the pressure you put on yourself. How far should you go, is this the right move, did I write what I truly meant and will she understand it the right way?
Note that while you shouldn’t drag the conversation, there needs to be a small talk before you can actually go for the close. You can simply say that you share an exciting activity together and take it from there.
Never be scared to approach women and give it your best shot. The girl might suddenly feel interested in you and would like to learn more about you. Remember, women enjoy receiving attention. Well, who doesn’t?
If you get her in the right mood, or she is a naughty girl, you might see her giving you more serious signs. Or, if you believe everything is going smoothly, you can give her more playful and sexual indicators.
The point is, go with your gut. Don’t be afraid to try something. Nobody will die even if you make a mistake. So better follow your intuition and, if you feel like the time is right, make it a bit more sexual and ask her to hang out.
9. Better Remain Silent Than Writing Something Stupid
This is a difficult concept for some guys. We all have times when we aren’t in the right mood. Moreover, when we start overthinking it and gathering nerves, our minds literally go blank.
The result? You cannot think straight, and most likely, you will say something stupid and unnecessary. For that matter, the best “cure” would be to remain silent.
Simply, put your phone away if you don’t feel you are in the right mood to talk right now. There is no point in ruining the momentum you have built because you can't think straight.
As a man, you should know when enough is enough.
10. Send It And Forget It
Usually, when I am approaching girls, be it texting girls I already know or ones I don’t know, I still feel this nervous tension every now and then. Maybe I want the girl to like me really bad, and I just want to be with her.
I will catch myself thinking for an extended period of time, crafting the perfect message, and then, once I have sent it, I will simply start looking at the phone every 2 minutes to see if she has received it.
And what happens if she got the message but didn’t respond?
It should be evident that this isn't right. Having someone fall in love with you is attraction from both sides, and it is not about one person chasing the other one. When you start chasing somebody this bad, in the end, it is never about the other person.
So, if the girl is offline or has seen your message and hasn’t responded, put your phone away and forget about it. You might receive a reply from her a bit later, but by no means should you become miserable and ruin your day and mood if you don’t get an instant answer.
As I mentioned several times, you need to keep it playful, with light banter and teasing. And this won't happen if you are always worried. So do yourself a favor, and don’t let any doubts permeate your mind. After all, you are handsome and attractive, and you have the courage to approach her “on her own territory”, so why shouldn’t she be interested in you?
And here you have it. Here are ten tips to keep in mind when texting a girl you don’t know.
If you are looking for more precise information on actual scripts and templates to use, I recommend you read “Turn Her On Through Text.” This is arguably the best guide on texting a girl and getting her to fall over with, coming with materials you can easily use yourself. If you are interested in this system, feel free to read our review.